New beginnings.

I went to a church last Sunday. I loved it. Kinda. I am not excited about being around "church people" but I am seeking something new. Something new, yet familiar. I recently (last week) got divorced and I find myself being drawn back to Jesus and the bible. I am treading timidly and cautiously onto that old ground. We'll see.

Prayer

I am TAing for a Community Psych 101 class, and we are having an online discussion about spirituality. One of the students asked me what I meant when I wrote that I "send out prayers to the universe" and I thought I'd post my reply for all of you:

Sorry I didn’t reply sooner, but I wanted to give a well thought out answer.
If you search you will find that answered prayers and unanswered prayers (and miracles) happen to people of all faiths, religions, and world views. It seems to me that the key to answers in not in WHICH god or gods you are praying to, but it is really in the act of prayer itself that the answers come. Logic would say that it could be that either prayer causes a self-fulfilling prophesy or possibly an attitude of openness to change within us. Or the other explanation I have entertained is simply that it is a part of a universal law (similar to laws of nature). Have you ever called someone up right as they needed you, completely unintentionally? Or ran into someone at the grocery store that you haven’t seen in a long time and they said something that you really needed to hear? I believe the universe provides what we need as long as we are open to it. (I am not alone in these beliefs. There is a large community of people in our city that are spiritual without religion and also pray to the universal power.)
The act of prayer I practice may be really similar to what you’ve seen. Prayer to the universe can be an attitude, an act of meditation, a sense of awe, a request for assistance, a cry of pain, even a dance of joy.
I believe that different religions create balance in the universe, just the same as different political beliefs create balance in government. No two people have the same belief system. Even just within Christianity there are different denominations. Within denominations there are individuals that focus on different aspects of the religion. I believe that when people pray to their god or gods that they are all praying to the same power in the universe. I enjoy diversity. I enjoy learning about other peoples’ belief systems. (Although I do have a problem when people try to push their beliefs on me, or promote fear or hate. Hate and fear are not healthy aspect of religion or spirituality.)

Positive Purpose

I haven't blogged in awhile on this Blog because I really felt like my reasons for questioning faith and moving on from religion no longer were all that important.

The fact is that I am who I am today. I love who I am today. I feel that I am real. I make choices that I can live with.

I wrote in April 2009 that bad experiences caused me question Christianity and religion, but the bad experiences haven't been what has been leading me closer towards atheism. That is even more truthful today. The more of life that I live, the more religion is obsolete in my life. I just don't need it. It would serve no positive purpose in my life.

My morals are defined by what I perceive to be right or good, and they come from sincerity of heart, not a book of rules. Actions or attitudes that I define as good are those that create happiness, unity and do no harm to the earth and any of its inhabitants.

Monday Morals (vs. Sunday Morals).

Thinking about morals.

I am not a "church goer" and never will be again. I've met my fair share of people in churches with a lack of morals (esp. consistent morals).

Which leads me to consider the consistency of MY morals. I separated my morals from religion a few years ago and found that they became stronger. When my morals were based on a set of rules outside of myself they were easier to bend. Now that they are internal and based on what I REALLY believe is right they are concrete and consistent.

So what do we do when our morals conflict with other people's morals?
Like white-lies. A lot of people have no problem with white-lies. Do I? The hard thing about bending morals, like with white-lies, is the definition of a white-lie. When does a white-lie cease to be white. Is the omission of details or being polite a white-lie. When I tell my kids to say "no thanks" instead of "I hate fish! Yuck!" am I teaching them it is ok to lie?

I hate lies, even white-ones. If I could rewrite common courtesies there would be no lying involved.

So is it my job to push my morals onto others? If my daycare mom wants to tell her work that her kids are sick so she can stay home, am I supposed to care and judge HER morals? I don't think so. But then we are looking at another undefined line. If someone were abusing their child I would intervene, but not lying to their employer. Perhaps it depends on the moral.

Fed up

For the second time ever, I had an old friend send me a message on Facebook wondering how my beliefs had changed from such a strong Christian to Buddhism. I don't claim Buddhism as my religion, but I practice meditation and agree with many Buddhist teachings, so I guess it may be close to my life philosophy.

How? How did it change?

I really DON'T know how to answer that, except maybe to say "I got fed up with it all."

Preaching in Restaurants

One of my least favorite memories of all times is cohorts preaching in restaurants. Ok, nothing is so embarrassing as being in a restaurant and having someone in your group stand up and start preaching to the people in the restaurant. I almost can't even write about it...

Why would God want you to stand up, embarrass yourself and your group, irritate the whole restaurant, and make Christians look crazy!? If there was one person in the restaurant that needed to 'hear the good news' then why wouldn't God just send you to that table?

The Mother.

I had MANY prophesies said over me in bible school that I would be a mother in the natural and the supernatural; that I would be a mother to children that were not my biological kids. As a child care provider I have become just that. I am a second mother to eight kids (eight wonderful kids), and also to my own three biological kids.

I spout these days that I don't put much stock into prophesy, but there is something about prophesy that I find intriguing. Perhaps it is the times that prophesies have been right. I don't think that prophets are making things up or guessing correctly. I (currently) believe that they have a deeper intuition than the average person. I myself am a people reader and I am very intuitive. Would I call myself a prophet? NO WAY! But one of the gifts of my personality is people reading skills. I think that prophets are people with those intuitive skills. Is that a supernatural gift? Not in the common way we think about supernatural. I think it is the result of evolution. It is a gift or skill that some of us have adapted.